Resuming...

(Wrote this a very long time ago, restarting these posts because this is my journal, my museum, my art gallery, where I can look through the various phases of my life and see how far I've come, how deeply I felt and the proof that I lived.)

It was all too much for me,

the worst part was that I empathised too deeply 

because I have been where you were

in the middle of it all, just fear and tears

but I have always been a fighter and I didn't know how to tell you

that the only way forward was to move even if your skin would shred

just keep fucking moving and don't wait around for anyone to rescue you

I wish I was able to find someone like me

nobody ever has been, maybe I even choose people that way

so far away from familiarity so they bring something new

but maybe I am the template, maybe it is me that I should choose to see

in subtle ways and not, the ability to get up and keep moving

and to read a room and see auras, catch the blues likes a tide

and the reds like a firefly, I don't expect anybody to have the ability to see

I don't expect anything actually, 

I don't want to find anybody less emotionally in tune with the world than I am

Nobody but me can understand the toll and the joys of being so in sync

if it's unrealistic then it should be, what a waste of time it all has been

to be with surface dwellers, 

when it should've been atlantean to love me, to deserve me

There is no rage, just the sad realisation that time will pass

and I will get older and harder, more stuck in my ways

Find myself wondering if I should've been less intellectual

less practical about it all

maybe dimmed myself to be one with all