Citrus

​Smells trigger memory, 

a tool to preserve an emotion forever in time,

Floral summers and citrus winters,

I worry that I forget far too soon,

And I worry that I will forget you

Or worse, how happy this made me

Because I think I’ve been happy before 

Days long forgotten, sand that washed away

Was I really happy if I can’t remember it?

Am I happy now or 

will this be looked back on as a simpler time?

Worries I haven’t seen yet are on their way,

Certain as rain in July, I know I’ll have to say goodbye

To this year, this version of me that will never be found again

I have been running, for as long as I can remember

From who I used to be, and where I drowned

If only for my own sanity, I can never look back

I don’t want to, there is nothing for me there

I can hear myself, I don’t like her sometimes

So harsh, give yourself a minute

To catch up, it’s okay to change

But you don’t have to keep running away

From situations that trigger unrest

You can stay, slow down your pace

There is much to lose, this time around

I swear it will not hurt to fight

And stand your ground.

                            —Ananya Murali